telekinetics.

wnyustatic:

Keurig Coffee Reviews, courtesy of WNYU (Our Office Coffee, “Offee” Reviews)

Caribou:

Deep earthy tones mixed with gas station (perhaps Sunoco?) Appearance is turdlike

Mouth Feel - Weak and watery with vague acrid burnt notes (overpowers subtle earthy tones)

Nantucket:

Taste: Mulch, caramel color. Dark chocolate cinnamon almond mixed with potting soil in a firepit (the kind with styrofoam). Chemical afterburn.

Mouth Feel: Licking a Polaroid

Tully’s:

Mouth Feel - Bark and leather in the pocket of a soggy fur coat inside a cedar chest inside a barn, essentially the turducken of mouth feel. Chemical afterburn.